Role Conflict and Role Strain During Motherhood

 What is Role Strain?

Role strain occurs when a person takes on too many roles and they conflict with each other. For example, becoming a mother may get in the way of a woman's ability to perform at her job or advance her career.

Other Key Terms of Motherhood

Motherhood mandate – this is the pressure for women to have children and if they don’t, they are told they are a disappointment to society 

Mothers' instinct – this is a myth and a belief that you naturally know how to be a mother. No one is an expert at a new skill. Mothers learn as they go, of course with prior research, and figure it out. All gender identities have the same nurturing and parenting capabilities.

What are the Benefits of the Balancing Act of Being a Mother and a Worker?

• Better mental health, physical health, and relationship quality 
• Steady income, more power in relationships, social status, accessible resources 
• Paid work = higher self-esteem 
• Independence is higher when a woman is employed
• Parenting brings good qualities to the workplace - being caring, compassionate, good at problem-solving, time management, etc.
• Increases power within the family but can cause conflict if they did not have power at the start of the relationship 
• College men who had memories of their fathers taking care of them reported higher competence in how to act as a parent when they needed to

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How are children a reflection of the parents?

• When kids act up the mother is often the blame and the father is never questioned
• Women are often shamed if they have to send their children to daycare and not be with them every day even though there is increased intellectual growth in school when they do go to childcare 
• Increased social skills in a childcare setting 
• There is no link between delinquency and daycare so the argument that sending a child to daycare will make them misbehave is false

On top of motherhood being an extremely hard choice and a painful experience, women also face other systematic issues every day including discrimination in the workplace, sexual harassment, domestic violence, and the pay gap!!!!

Women are STILL only paid 87.3% of what men get for full-time work. This gap is even larger with women of color.

In addition to this, women are also more likely to sacrifice their own health for their children, relatives, or close friends. Think about who usually stayed home from work to be with you when you got sick? Your mother put her health at risk in order to care for you. That's what society has deemed normal. Why doesn't Dad stay home? It takes two to have and raise a child, doesn't it?

My Mamma

Make sure to love your mother and tell her how much you appreciate all the sacrifices they have made for you mentally, physically, and emotionally. 💚